recorded this at the dolphin when i was drunk

"help me honey, i woke up in a bar stool. i don't know how the fuck it happened like that, but i fell asleep during our conversation. you know, the shit about judas being our savior, cause if he didn't turn away from the angel and turn jesus in we wouldn't have our savior. it's silly though, i swore last night when your panties hit the ground you were my salvation. get me sober. get me home. do these fuckers behind us think i give a shit that his wife hasn't fucked in a month? she probably been fucked on the side anyway. his friend doesn't care and neither do i. you and i have a healthy one every once in a while, right? yeah, you're right; i should've saved that one for home, in bed. jesus, we talked about him right? i don't give a fuck if you're religious. you're mom's the reason you are. she died and you need to know that she went somewhere better, that she isn't just fertilizer. yeah, that was harsh weed, but that's the way thinking people see it. no, it doesn't mean...no, i don't think you're stupid. but it's kinda funny that you're more pissed about possibly being called stupid than me telling you that you're mom's fertilizer....i gotta shit. yeah here, fuck it...they have a toilet honey."


*it was a one sided conversation with a homeless man and i couldn't follow his rant either, but i recorded it and wrote it down*